Brooklyn Nine-Nine is truly one of the Noicest sitcoms on TV right now. Its amazing arsenal of quirky characters and its way of always being able to create some of the most meme-worthy scenes is truly insane. Watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of those easy pleasures, which feels surprisingly fulfilling and filled with good moral values. It frequently highlights real life issues with its characters and tackles relevant problems like racism and police difficulties with subtle humor and heartfelt dialogue. But what’s a good Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode without a ridiculous cold open to back it up. These cold opens follow no context whatsoever, yet somehow, they usually become some of the most iconic moments in the show. Let’s look at the top 10 cold opens from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
10. Is Kelly Scully’s Dog or His Wife? (Season 1 Episode 14, The Ebony Falcon)
Anything related to Scully becomes an instant classic, doesn’t it? The character is so wrapped up in food and innocence that you can’t help but be adored by this character. Jake and Scully walk into the precinct and they both discuss their weekends when Scully says that he went on a long walk with Kelly, and then they fell asleep watching TV. This creates a big conundrum in Jake’s head as he is just not able to figure out whether Kelly is Scully’s wife or his dog. So, he accumulates all the people together and each of them asks Scully different questions to figure out this mystery behind Kelly. Kelly sure has had an eventful life, even got hit by a car once and her favourite food is Peanut Butter. Right, none of this actually narrows it down so Jake straight up asks him whether Kelly really is a dog or an actual human being. And Scully gets offended and sad in the most innocent way. It really cracked me up how this question hit a bitter chord with Scully and he was caught off guard by it.
9. Tommy Gobbler Breaks a Tragic News (Season 3 Episode 8, Ava)
Charles who is yet again in a costume. We can never get enough of him in his crazy weird cosplays. He is so well known for this that the precinct doesn’t even bat an eye when he walks in with a Turkey Costume, mimicking it for Thanksgiving. Tommy Gobbler is this Turkey’s name, and well, he Gobbles. Jake tries his best to calm him down, but Tommy Gobbler gobbles his way through the conversation and when Jake has finally had it, he straight up introduces the relatives of a seemingly deceased Grandmother’s relatives. They are sitting there, in all seriousness, demanding to know about the whereabouts of the missing Grandmother. Charles realizes that he has definitely not worn the appropriate clothes for the occasion and he has no other option but to break the news the way he is. “I have some deeply tragic news”, he says with a spontaneous change in his giddy attitude and with the straightest face he has ever made.
8. It’s Heist Time (Season 5 Episode 4, HalloVeen)
The classic Halloween heist of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is here and this time, everyone is prepared right off the bat, or should I say, right off the bed. Jake wakes up in the middle of the night to prepare for the heist with a devilish smile on his face. But to his shock, he turns around and discovers Amy in her full formal attire staring right at his soul. Jake is completely taken aback, but he still is one step ahead of her as he also made breakfast. But to both their surprise, the eggs are eaten and there’s a mysterious voice which shrieks from the behind. It’s Captain Holt declaring that the breakfast eggs went in his belly. Jake and Amy are both caught off guard, and Captain Holt, without a single flinch in his expressions, shouts at them to get a move on. Jake’s happiness knows no limits to say the least.
7. Hitchcock and Scully in their Absolute Prime (Season 6 Episode 2, Hitchcock & Scully)
This episode is one of the best episodes in Brooklyn Nine-Nine as we see Hitchcock & Scully for the first time, in their true prime avatar. They are two buff dudes who drip sexiness and savagery in their every move. Two partners whose friendship and charisma knows no bounds. They are undercover in a mafia house, where the boss is eager to partake in a drink with them, but they, not so kindly, refuse the offer to see the two packets of cocaine. But obviously, this was the opportunity they were looking for as they brought out their guns and wreaked havoc all up in the place. Scully absolutely throws a guy into the wall while Hitchcock slyly dodges each and every punch in his way. With extreme smoothness, he asks the assistance about the whereabouts of her boss and as they find him, they finally indulge in a glass of drink. A truly shocking and insane revelation into the characters of these two which makes me demand an entire spinoff.
6. The Biggest Punishment (Season 6 Episode 13, The Bimbo)
Jake arrives late in the precinct one fine day and Captain Holt, who is absolutely fed up with this, has come up with a plan to punish Jake where it freaking hurts. He sat down with everyone in the precinct and developed a personalized handshake with each and every one of them. Everyone but Jake who was busy being late. So as the meeting is about to be dismissed, Holt indulges in the handshake with each member as they go out. Everything, from a snake charmer to a butt bum, Holt has mastered the art of cringeworthy handshakes just to make Jake feel absolutely harassed and left out. It all goes a step forward when it turns out that Holt also took the time to develop one with the copy guy and Jake is absolutely shattered.
5. Coffee Which Slowed Time (Season 6 Episode 7, The Honeypot)
Jake, Rosa and Holt are all relishing the tasty cold brew from the coffee machine Charles brought, but it turns out that they are overdoing it a bit too much. Holt has already drunk two and Rosa is on her third when Charles runs inside the room in super slow motion. It’s as if he is talking very slow but he is not, and the entire time is slowed down. As it turns out, this was just the after effect of drinking coffee and now the motor skills of the three of them are heightened to another level. They are speaking at a pace which should be humanly impossible, and their conversation acts on a series of *yeps*, each one quicker than the prior.
4. Dianne Wiest Infection (Season 4 Episode 9, The Overmining)
This cold open’s brilliance lies in its true subtlety. In fact, the cast and the writers have told that this has been their favourite cold open from the entire series of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Jake walks in and asks Boyle about his weekend, but gets concerned when he hears that Boyle was sick. He caught the, wait for it, Dianne Wiest Infection. Jake is absolutely baffled because he never saw this coming and his disappointment is visible in his dead eyed silent face. He knows what the joke is and he also knows that Charles had been waiting the entire weekend to tell this to Jake. It’s all visible in their faces, as the camera zooms in on both of them. And in the last zoom, Boyle still feels the need to explain it and gleefully screams “Like Yeast…”. Truly an absolute classic.
3. A Secret Which is so Ridiculous it Sounds Fake (Season 1 Episode 21, Unsolvable)
Captain Holt walks in with a band aid on his hand, yet he doesn’t indulge in any details as to how it happened. Jake immediately deduces that he was too embarrassed to say it because it must have been something beneath his persona. Holt who immediately dismisses the rumours by saying that he tripped off the sidewalk, leans into Jake and elaborates on the real reason as to how his arm got injured. He had been attending fitness classes lately with his husband Kevin to stay healthy and also for the sheer romantic fun of it. And he injured his arm while Hula Hooping there with Kevin. His face is so filled with mischief as he says that he has mastered all the moves and Jake looks like he is turned on by the information he is receiving. But the real reason why Holt had been telling Jake is because this is just too ridiculous for anyone to believe, and with that he deletes the only photo of him Hula Hooping. The only proof of this secret is now gone and Jake will have to live with the burden of not being able to tell it to anyone, because it is just too ridiculous.
2. The Dance Off (Season 3 Episode 11, Hostage Situation)
A street dancer kicks the coffee out of Holt’s hands as he dances on the sidewalk. Holt confronts him, but the dancer acts cocky, saying that they can’t arrest him for dancing. Holts throws the big jab by saying, ” You call that, Dancing?”. Everyone, including Jake, knows that they are in for a ride. Holt shows off his most nuanced dance moves, which are a subtle combination of sophistication with unusual hand and leg movements. This dance is as Holt as Holt can get in dancing, if you know what I mean. Jake is shook to the core but each one of his attempts to record this historic moment, goes in vain and when he is finally ready to record, Holt finishes off his Dance Off in style. Seeing Holt rock those moves, really made me feel like I can do anything I put my will to.
1. I Want it That Way (Season 5 Episode 17, DFW)
Jake and a woman stand on this side of the suspect chamber where 5 suspects are in line. The woman only heard the suspect singing so Jake asks each of them to sing the song I Want it That Way by Backstreet Boys. With each line, Jake keeps forgetting that he is involved in a case, and the suspects are insane at their singing skills too so it actually sounds like a great rendition of the song. Jake, who is now completely engrossed in the song, sings it with them and as they come to the suspect number 5, his goal is to finish the entire verse. Their verse completes and Jake has total chills all over his body when the woman says that Number 5 was the murderer. It has truly got to be the most iconic cold open in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
The Movie Culture Synopsis
Brooklyn Nine-Nine is an insane show and these iconic cold opens are just 10 in the long list of amazing cold opens the show has had over time. Based on the response this article receives, we will create another list of cold opens which we couldn’t fit in here.
